The Spider Plant and the Soul Gap

My screen porch flooded with golden pinkish beams of early morning light as the sun slowly rose above the trees on the start of a lovely day. In my favorite summer ritual, early sunrise coffee in quiet contemplation while the birds in a subtle symphony called out that they were coming in to breakfast at my feeder, I noticed it. As if the sun was summoning my attention, its light shifted slightly to highlight one of the spider plants I have on a corner table and a long arm that had magically appeared somehow, stretching out beyond its spiky green and white leaves. The long arm had tiny finger-like nubs in several spots, and one of the fingers had opened into a delicate white blossom with fragile stamens standing at attention and capped with fuzzy yellow pollen. I was surprised to see a bloom, as I had known spider plants produce spikes and arms, but didn’t know they produced flowers.

As I marveled at the flower and its simple beauty, I noticed how its arm had pushed itself up and away from the base of the plant, stretching and reaching out so that it could bloom. A lesson and a reminder. Blooming takes pushing into a place outside of what is comfortable. It requires an uncomfortable reach beyond one’s own boundaries, many of which are unknowingly or unintentionally self-imposed. Sipping my coffee and taking in the morning air, this brought me back to recent conversations I’d had with friends. Friends who were mentioning in other words but in underlying messages that they too wanted to stretch, to reach, and to bloom.

One friend didn’t know what that might look like but knows she is looking to do and be more. To define herself through interests beyond her professional life. Another friend was already extending her reach by signing up for an excursion that will challenge her both physically and mentally. Both are feeling an ache for something they can’t quite put their finger on.

Last September, I decided to push myself to pursue an idea I had always liked which was to actually learn to play tennis, be consistent at it, and eventually gain a sport that I could take on for decades. Now, for background, I’ve never played sports in my life. I’m the least athletic of people and was always the last person chosen for teams in physical education classes when I was a school-aged child.

Physically, this required a level of fitness I didn’t have and a level of stamina that needed improving. It also involved a bit of grit. Being willing to be coached, recognizing that some in my class will be at a level far above me while I stay at the same level until the skills needed are instilled.

My tennis coach often reminds me to “relax.” What he doesn’t know is that I’m stretching and pushing into unknown territory but per his coaching working to calm down, taking it one swing at a time, and practicing or playing when I can to help my game. A sport I’ve never played with a body that doesn’t know sports and that had I never considered to be athletic. In this case, I’ve surprised myself with my ability. I’m still at it, months later, working to improve and committed to the long game. Stretching and reaching, working to bloom in this new interest area that is truly my own.

Growth, in any area, takes reach and push. Growth is something that takes one from living to truly being and feeling alive. Pushing and reaching where you didn’t know you could. Persisting when you think you can’t.

Parting Thoughts

• If you feel the desire for something more, something that will make you ‘bloom,’ and are not sure where to start, consider exploring what it is that is driving this soul gap and why.

• Consider looking for classes or courses on something that you are curious about that doesn’t tie back to the support of a loved one or your career, but is truly a new or unique interest. Check for online or on-demand classes, the amount available today may surprise you. Try something new for no other reason than it is something new and different. Whether it sticks or not, it’s okay.

• Think about spending some time with Shirley, who realized later in life that she hadn’t yet bloomed. Meet Shirley here.

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